Rebirth?...But I was never dead...

In many of my blogging attempts and across multiple conversational instances... I said that I was reborn...The truth is I never did...how the heck can I be reborn when I was never dead...I know that there is nothing so funny about it...but think about this...almost 10 years back...when having long hair was considered rebellious in our country, I started to have an interest in Karmic powers...needless to say...spend endless nights reading books on increasing and cleansing your karma...nothing happened...that's when I realized that the base of everything around me was the old scriptures of Hindus...the vedas...so there I started again...started of reading Vedas...finished book after book...don't ask me whether I understood anything or even what I was doing...the answer was I was diving deep down in a well...not sure what I was doing...just read and read...what ever came my way...after the failed attempt to digest the Vedas which almost takes an entire age of a human being... I turned back...now it was philosophy...nothing small or no one smaller...I did a hard hit on Freud himself...woo...that was one hell of an attempt...but reached no where...It was at this stage that I understood one god damn thing...Be it any self help book...the only person (I mean a real person)...that can help you is YOU...I think if I stop this post just like that...it will not be apt...Oh ya!!!...I even tried my hands on calligraphy...and did learn 2 strokes..one fine day the ink fell over...and that marked the end of a wonderful experience which would have brought me closer to the great wall...As of today...I really do not have any such thoughts...not that I am dead again as claimed before...nether am I reborn...Its just that I am finally Alive...